How Do You Know You’re in Love?

Image by Karolina Grabowska

Falling in love is such a pleasurable thing, the tell-tale signs are not easily missed because they take over your life for as long as the feeling lasts. They permeate every activity, they define one’s actions and appear to take on a vibrant life of their own. There is no greater feeling than being in love, because that is strongly connected to our feeling of self worth and acceptance, which makes it one of the happiest moment’s of a person’s life.

The most obvious signs of love in the air are most evident in seven major areas of behaviour, especially the first three:

1. Constant Loving Thoughts
When we are in love, we cannot stop thinking about that person. We spend a lot of time imagining what we did with them (like that first kiss, or the way we met) and that is relived over and over; fantasising about spending time with them, and constantly wondering what they are doing, while smiling to ourselves like Cheshire cats who got the cream! It is really difficult not to think about the loved one mainly because they make us feel happy; they make us want to shout out loudly from the rooftops, to tell the world how we feel, and they give us a quiet sense of satisfaction and self reinforcement in being loved, desired and wanted.

2. Increased Communication and Interest
This is a time when the desire to communicate with the loved one is strongest. We tend to become more expressive and open. There will be lots of phone calls, visits and/or texts/emails between the parties. There will be dialogue around the most insignificant things. There will also be playfulness, teasing, expressions of endearment, tons of questions, and plans about sharing activities. In fact, it will be non-stop communication around the things that matter, coupled with an insatiable mutual interest in the lives of both parties. Everything, no matter how trivial, will assume importance and significance to maintain that connection and dialogue. This is because the very act of communicating is both enjoyable and self-reinforcing so both parties try to get even more of it.

3. Desire to Please
Love gives us a strong desire to please. At such times we would go to the ends of the earth for the person we love. Nothing seems too difficult or challenging because we are trying to impress, to be given the seal of approval. In fact, we would even take up hobbies we do not like, if the other person is doing them, just to show how much we care about them and to gain their approval! When we love someone we want to make them notice us and to keep that loving feeling going as long as possible. This is where we are at our most compliant and amenable. It also explains why many people can be taken advantage of during these heady, vulnerable times.

The most definite sign of falling in love is when that person begins to occupy your thoughts, even when you don’t make any conscious effort to think about them. It is really about feeling good vibes towards her/him in a warm, comfortable way; a way you wouldn’t feel about anyone else.

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