Do We Need Other People Around Us to be Happy?

Photo by tabitha turner

True happiness comes from within us. It is not supplied by others, or caused by them. They can only ENHANCE our happiness by adding to it, but they cannot MAKE us happy. If you feel ’happy’ only when you are around people, it points to a lack of self-love; a loathing to spend time in your own company, and a desire for people to like you to compensate for the way you really don’t like you.

Someone once said: “I am not sure that the 100% of our happiness comes from within. I think we need others to complete our happiness.”

However, what that person is actually saying, with a 50% portion, is that, if no one ever meets another who can complete their half, they will be only half happy, or unhappy, for the rest of their lives! But that has never been right. Tons of people have been serenely happy without anyone else making them happy, or contributing to that happiness.

Happiness is not a destination we strive towards. It’s an inner state of being, not to be added to by anyone, but actually to be ENHANCED by themTo be a truly happy persons starts off with 100% happiness within the self, which is about loving the self, appreciating the self and valuing the self. A partner, friend or anyone else, should also be bringing 100% happiness for it to work in a glorious orgy of shared happiness! That’s why it is difficult for a very happy person to co-exist with a half-happy or gloomy person, because he/she will always be taking from the very happy one, not giving much back.

As in all relationships and interactions, only bringing 100% of ourselves to them will work. If the other person is bringing 100% too, not taking but giving wholly and unconditionally, that’s two very happy people indeed!

If we go with the 50% option, what if you NEVER find that happiness externally? What happens then? A very important question for the quality of our lives.

The basis of internal happiness is self-acceptance and feeling valued. In fact, every human being, without fail, seek the following four elements in life:

* To be significant (that they matter),

* To be appreciated (for their efforts

* To be valued (for who they are by those they value)

* To be included (a feeling of belonging).

When any of those four facets are missing, or out of sync, that’s when unhappiness sets in and no amount of happiness from another person will make us feel any better.

Equally, if we are low in confidence, lacking self esteem and not loving/valuing who we are, no amount of happiness from others will compensate, because not accepting ourselves as we are, we would not know how to accept another person, either, for what they bring. We are likely to be full of doubt about ourselves, questioning whether they truly care or not.

So, coming back to that question again. If you believe that only being around others makes you happy, and you fail to find that external happiness you seek, what would happen then?

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