I’ve Had Five Breakups That Have Shaken My Confidence. I’m Only 25 Years Old. What Next?

Photo by Mark Pan4ratte

Without knowing details of the background situation, any reply can only be in generalised terms which should hopefully be of some value.

If you are 25 with five break ups behind you, when most people would have maybe two or none, you need to be asking yourself certain questions, because the PATTERN of behaviour in this case would be important.

For example,

  • Who is doing the breaking up, you or the dates?
  • What are you (or they) expecting that you’re not getting?
  • Why are your relationships so short-lived?
  • Are you rushing into relationships without really taking time out in between them to examine why each one fell by the wayside?

There is always a reason for a breakup, and unless you identify it, address it, and learn from it, you will be none the wiser for it. Moreover, you will be destined to repeat the same pattern of approach over and over and over. Once you start asking yourself certain straight and honest questions, and answer them truthfully, a pattern of behaviour will emerge for your relationships. If you are the one, for example, who is usually wanting the break, or your partners want the break, it is saying a lot about the non-fulfilment of expectations between you.

Or it could be that you love the thrill of dating, the initial rush of adrenaline in the attention you are getting, then begin to get bored later on when things settle down into a predictable routine, or the date hasn’t lived up to your expectations. Some people like the idea of falling in love, or a potential new romance developing, without the responsibility, or stickability, to allow it to progress for any length of time.

Again, people often go into relationships with a perceived perfect ideal partner, or friendship, expecting too much from the other person. They become disillusioned soon afterwards, and then break it off to continue seeking that elusive perfection, while repeating the same mistakes in the next relationship, and so on, because they are inclined to believe that the fault lies in the people they meet, and not themselves. They avoid examining themselves, and why things did not go plan, and then take he same futile expectations on the next step of their journey with someone else.

Sadly, this just leads to the same results in a never ending journey of hurt and, pain, and reduced trust and confidence.

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