Writing these profound words in 1864, well ahead of his time, James Allen  meant that we cannot attract what we are not, otherwise we wouldn’t get on with that person. Simply put, the law of attraction dictates that we will never find what we’re looking for, unless we possess it first!  Soon the person who provides it for us will get tired of just giving and getting nothing in return, which then leads to a perpetual cycle of failed friendships and relationships. 

For example, if you are having problems with people who lie, cheat, etc., unfortunately it starts with you, depending on the emotional and interactive patterns you develop as coping mechanisms to deal with adversity, the expectations you have of others, and your desire for perfection.

If your relationships are not proving as satisfactory as you would like, it could be that you, too, are not genuine, but superficial; you perhaps expect too much of others and then feel let down when they don’t deliver, or you are seeking people to reflect your values instead of just being themselves. Your search for perfection, and the ideal love, is perhaps blinding you to other unsavoury aspects of their personality. 

If you are attracting certain types of people who cause you anxiety, it is likely there is something in you that aligns with those ‘undesirable’ qualities.  So what signals are you giving like a beacon which are a drawing certain types towards you? Unless you know what they are, you will keep getting the same results.