How often have you heard the statement, “Welcome to the Real World” or “Get real!”, especially from someone trying to change your view of life?

No matter how well intended to shock, or to show you ‘reality’, there is no such thing as the ‘real world’. The world will always remain how YOU see it, no matter how it is seen by others, until you choose to change it. If you take away all the bricks and mortar which clearly represents our tangible, physical world, there is no other ‘real world’ for us to see. The reason for that is very simple. The only world we have exists inside our head and is determined by our emotions. Nowhere else. We alone make the world we live in, which explains why we each react differently to that world. That is two people will seldom  ever see the same world or experience the same reality. There is a key reason for this and it is called PERCEPTION. What we perceive, we are.

Our individual world comes out of our cultural, gender, race, class, religious and social experience unique to us. If you were raised, for example, as an Amish girl in America, devoid of material things, and you never ever experienced the outside world in any form, your world – what you perceive it to be – will be vastly different from another girl who grew up in Manhattan in the midst of all the latest innovations and technology. That Amish girl, who was used to a life based on hand=me-down simplicity would find it hard to believe that such a technological world exists until it is physically proven to her.

Again, if you grew up under the shadow of Big Ben in London, UK where guns are banned and people cannot use guns to defend themselves, you will actually feel strange, even vulnerable, if you are from America, where guns are allowed and having to live in London without a gun to ‘protect’ you.

Different Beliefs
Thirdly, if you are religious and believe in God, your ‘real world’ would be quite different from that of someone who does not believe in God and cannot be convinced of such. They cannot see what you see unless they genuinely wish to, and change their beliefs to match it. Whatever we are brought up to experience, to value and to cherish, becomes the essential core of the world that we see, which is why it is so difficult to change the hearts and minds of religious fundamentalists, racists, sexists and other fanatics who genuinely believe they are right to impose their version of ‘the truth’, because they have not been exposed to the ‘world’ or ‘truth’ of others.

Our individual perceptions of what the world should be owes nothing to a generalised reality we all share. In fact, we share nothing with anyone else except our humanity. Everything else about us is learned or as Nature intended. All the social and cultural clothing we wear define our world, which is what makes agreement, negotiation or even having a relationship with someone so difficult to do. We are all operating in different worlds which shape our perception, ones that are difficult for others to access.

The bottom line is that you cannot make someone else see your point of view if they have never experienced it before, unless they wish to open their minds and learn more, because it would be alien to them. What you are saying would have no meaning and therefore be irrelevant to their needs.

Next time you are tempted to tell someone “Get Real” or “Welcome to the real world”, meaning yours, just remember that they might look at your ‘real world’ but they cannot enter it. To do so would mean giving up what they value and cherish to accommodate what you cherish. In effect, they would be leaving their own heads to go inside of yours and that is near impossible. They already have a ‘real’ world for themselves, whether we like it or not .. and it’s mainly theirs!

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