Quite simply, it is because it is their RIGHT to be how they wish to be. There is no law that says we all have to like daily communication, or whatever. We all have individual personalities that demonstrate who we are, and what we value in life. Many relationships fail because partners tend to change each other into their ideal instead of accepting each other as they are. If someone doesn’t like communicating daily, and you do, gently ease out of that relationship and find another partner who does because you will gradually get frustrated with the lack of connection and, the moment you find someone who wants that too, your relationship will be in trouble..

My partner and I have been together eight years and we still want to talk on the phone at least twice daily. We also love to walk together at lunchtimes, and seek every opportunity to make contact with each other, for the simple reason that we really enjoy it. We just love talking trivia, playing online competitive games like Wordle, debating stuff, commenting on our world, talking about our day, and really appreciate each other’s company.

It is important to know that being communicative often stems from our childhood, whether we were encouraged to express ourselves, or not, in those early years. In adulthood, it stems from feelings of esteem and confidence, perhaps fearing to express ourselves if we feel we might be ridiculed, misunderstood, seem unworthy, or not able to articulate our needs. Whatever the reason for wanting communication, we cannot force people to do what they do not feel comfortable doing.

Often we put up with traits in potential partners that we can see, from the very beginning, are like red flags waving frantically at us, but we mistakenly believe we can change the person as time goes on. However, not only is it difficult to change our behaviour, but why would we want to change anyone when we can find someone else who matches our needs? By accepting people as they are, everyone is happy because they would be aligning with others who reflect what they seek.

If you meet someone who is clearly not communicative, and you prefer regular communication, accept them as they are, try to coax them to connect, but move on if they are not keen. Respect their right to be whom they wish to be, and not make their desire for non-communication any kind of shortcoming. It really isn’t. It is merely an aspect of their personality that will suit exactly someone else who values non-communication, too!

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