How Do Words Impact Our Lives?

Photo by Brett Jordan

Personally, I think most of us don’t fully understand the true power and impact that words have on us, otherwise we might be more wary of what we say!

Language defines us, reveals us and demonstrates our routine priorities. For example, the word ‘bored’ never comes into my vocabulary because I simply have too much to do to have time for that. Thus anyone using that word is saying a lot about how they FEEL about their time, and the inability to engage their talents to productive use. That also applies to any other word.

The words we use are also not accidental. We CHOOSE the words we feel most comfortable with according to our culture, treatment, identity, awareness, relevance, education and aspirations. For example, if we find it easier to use negative words than positive ones, they point to low self-belief, lack of confidence in ourselves, and a feeling of impotence.

Importantly, words come out of thoughts, so we cannot avoid certain words until we change our mindset and thought processes. Changing how we think also changes our perceptions and enable different words to come to the fore. However, as words reflect our beliefs about ourselves, changing them is not an easy thing to do until those beliefs are changed, too.

Our words are the most accurate indication of who we are and our true values, and have strong impact on our existence. That is why when people use certain derogatory words, and then deny them with defensive explanations like: “That’s not really me”, they are not being truthful. Those words would represent who they are, and the fears and prejudices they hold. As their circle or society might not condone what they say, it loses them friends, face and credibility, which prompts them to retract. However, we seldom use words we are not comfortable with, unless we are brainwashed by others.

Words are the only tools we have to indicate how others perceive us, and value us. Hence their impact, when used positively, or without empathy, can have a effect very powerful on others


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PREMIUM: How Do I Get People To Like Me?

Photo by Helena Lopes

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This is a very common question because our greatest wish is to be ACCEPTED, especially for who we are, and our greatest fear is tone REJECTED and excluded because our innate feeling of belonging, and wanting to be included, is very powerful. Some people do have genuine difficulty getting others to like them, while others find it almost effortless.  If you are worried about whether people like you or not, or whether you are lovable or not, you have low self-esteem and place people’s approval of you above your own self-value. Not appreciating yourself, you hope people will like you to compensate for your own  lack of self-love. But the best way to get people to like you is to start with loving YOU. 

How do you feel about yourself at this moment? Do you really like what you see in the mirror? 

We all have the potential to be well liked right there within ourselves. It is just a matter of finding it and acting upon it, which is not that easy to do, because there is no magic way to make them like us. When you love yourself, that self-comfort is obvious to everyone else, which is likely to make them feel more comfortable around you, too. You are able to take people or leave them. You also do not depend on them for your approval, because you feel confident in who you are, regardless of who likes you. 

In fact, there are four sure ways of getting others to like and appreciate us more, and they start with the key one, self-love.

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Today’s Thought: The Power of Reciprocity

Where you have two givers in a relationship, giving 100% to each other, that is a match made in heaven. Resentment and frustration only creep in when there is one definite taker expecting the other person to provide everything or to serve their needs. With reciprocity come sensitivity and respect. When we care we are sensitive to our partner’s desires and concerns; we care how they feel; we give them our best, and they would do all that in return, too. Mutual giving and respect make up reciprocity which is the greatest source of happiness between a couple.

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When Someone Says, “I’m Happy That You’re Happy”, What do They Mean?

Photo by Annie Spratt

That is a form of showing empathy to you, or another person.

It’s one way of sharing someone else’s joy, by showing understanding of their situation, and wanting to demonstrate open support and encouragement. However, it is not always sincere, as shown in the following two contrasting instances:

  1. When we care about someone and how they feel. Their happiness is our joy too, and we want to let them know it, especially when we are trying to please the person or to seek their approval.
  2. When there is some insincerity or envy that is being masked by kind words. This is one way of not showing those feelings, but being ‘nice’ and ‘kind’ instead, with empty sympathetic words.

Those words show alignment and support where meant, while hiding other negative feelings when insincere.

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