Today’s Thought: How Much Do You Know Yourself?

Knowing yourself is crucial to the quality of your life, as it prevents ambiguity in your choices, and disappointments in your expectations. For example, when it comes to choosing a date, some people may say they want ‘an independent-thinking, self-directed partner, who is successful in his own career’. In reality, they want someone who will take care of them or be the parent they never had. After all, when we love someone, we do not tie that love to the size of their wallet, or expect financial contribution as a condition of our love, precisely because material things can disappear in an instant, as unexpected natural disasters have starkly demonstrated.

We often deceive ourselves, as well as others, in painting that false personal image but, while we can deceive ourselves forever, we can only deceive some of the people some of the time. All too soon, we get found out, and most likely when we least expect it. Just be yourself, warts and all. Being yourself is usually the most attractive part of you! You simply emphasise that uniqueness.

The person for you will be the one who accepts you fully. The minute someone new starts to tell you how you should dress, for example, it is a short step from dictating your life in other ways, making you over into their ideal, not accepting you as you are. If you know who you are, you will wish to be that person, not a caricature of someone else’s dream.



Premium: How Do I Love Myself When I Feel So Bad?

Photo by Kelly Sikkema

Many people see my constant, happy smile and make instant assumptions about me and my past. However, my childhood was a pretty grim one. In the bad old days, as I call them, I would pass a mirror, momentarily liked what I saw but then suddenly, and inexplicably, would start telling myself that I was ‘crap’, that I ‘hated’ myself and I was ‘pathetic’. 

I had buried my traumas deep inside me, refusing to face them and, slowly, they took their toll in continuous self-loathing and low self-esteem. Gradually, and painfully, I learned that I had to sort out my past, face it and move on, and then begin the slow process of self-love. The wonderful result is clear to see now. Subscribe to get access

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The Fitness Booster Motivation Tips: Don’t Miss This Week’s Topics!

Do you tend to feel shy, afraid and anxious about life?

• Do you dislike your reflection when you look in the mirror?

• Always finding fault with yourself, what you say, and your actions?

• Is there something you would love to do but feel afraid of doing it, because you fear failure and messing it up, which is more overwhelming than the possible gains?

If you don’t feel particularly confident about yourself, achieving your dreams or having great relationships, and could do with a boost in your self-esteem and self-value, The Fitness Booster Newsletter is just for you! It covers a wide range of mental health and emotional health issues, giving useful tips on what to say in tricky circumstances and how to execute routine actions in a confident, winning way.

SUBSCRIBE FREE TODAY on Substack for regular posts and podcasts on improving your self-assurance and feeling more worthy and competent in your activities.


Today’s Thought: Getting What You Want in a Relationship

Many people seek new dates and partners hoping to find love or happiness. But we cannot find what we haven’t got already, when it comes to relationships, because we have to bring 100% of what we expect in order to it to make it work. If the other person is going that too, that’s a match made in heaven!

So don’t look for what you can gain from a new relationship, but what you can GIVE, and you will also receive a lot in return!

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What Can I Do if I Believe No One Truly Cares About Me?

Photo by christopher lemercier

You start by caring about yourself!

However, before I go into that aspect, your belief is likely to be your PERCEPTION of your situation, and not the actual reality. In our life, we always have at least one person who cares about us: whether parent, relative, friend or stranger. There is usually someone there for us. However, we tend to judge everyone as uncaring when we have been hurt, especially by someone we love, then it doesn’t matter who cares about us, because it is likely to make little difference to our feelings.

That is why the answer to your question lies inside you. There is one undeniable fact of life: We tend to get treated exactly how we treat others. If people generally do not seem to care about you, it could be because they perceive you in any of the following ways:

  1. To be a taker rather than a giver.
  2. To know people only when you want something from them.
  3. To be mean with praise, appreciation and gratitude.
  4. To be reluctant to help where necessary.
  5. To be insincere or hypocritical in your actions
  6. To be unreliable in your promises and care for others.
  7. Regarded as perhaps uncaring and selfish.

Do any of those apply to you, and your interaction with others? That is not the way to win friends and influence people, least of all to get them to care about you.

Some people will take advantage of us and our kindness, but there is a direct correlation between how we treat another person and how they view us. However, the way we perceive others has its roots in how we view ourselves. It means that if you do not love and appreciate who you are, you are unlikely to be able to love and appreciate others, too, because you cannot give away what you haven’t got!

The simplest step to remedy your situation is to start caring about yourself, instead of just trying to please others, to fawn over them, or to be mean and insincere to them. Sometimes this is not an easy thing to do after years of acting in a certain way. But it all starts with how you treat yourself, and appreciate the unique person you are, before others can begin to really value you too.

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Today’s Thought: What Are You Attracting?

Many people believe that to find their ideal partner they simply have to look for the right physically attractive person and everything will be fine. But whoever we are drawn towards are also drawn to us because of the vibes we are giving off. If we are suspicious, wary, or lacking in empathy or cold in approach, sadly that’s exactly what we will attract in others because, quite simply, like attracts like.