The Fitness Booster: Is There Such a Thing as ‘The Truth’? See NEW Motivational Tips on Boosting Wellbeing!

Do you tend to feel shy, afraid, and anxious? Sometimes life can feel overwhelming, especially when you have disappointments, or things are not going as expected.

• Are you feeling some frustration with life just now?

• Always finding fault with yourself, with what you say, and your actions?

• Is there something you would love to do but feel afraid of doing it, because you fear failure and messing it up, which is more overwhelming than the possible gains?

TAKE A LOOK AT THIS WEEK’S TOPICS

If you don’t feel confident about yourself, achieving your dreams or having great relationships, and could do with a boost in your self-esteem, The Fitness Booster Newsletter is just for you! It complements this blog, and covers a wide range of mental health and emotional health issues, giving useful tips on what to say in tricky circumstances and how to execute routine actions in a confident, winning way.

SUBSCRIBE FREE TODAY on Substack for regular posts and podcasts on improving your self-assurance and feeling more worthy and competent in your activities.

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The Fitness Booster: See NEW Motivational Tips on Boosting Confidence & Happiness!

Do you tend to feel shy, afraid, and anxious? Sometimes life can feel overwhelming, especially when you have disappointments, or things are not going as expected.

• Do you dislike your reflection when you look in the mirror?

• Always finding fault with yourself, with what you say, and your actions?

• Is there something you would love to do but feel afraid of doing it, because you fear failure and messing it up, which is more overwhelming than the possible gains?

TAKE A LOOK AT THIS WEEK’S TOPICS

If you don’t feel confident about yourself, achieving your dreams or having great relationships, and could do with a boost in your self-esteem, The Fitness Booster Newsletter is just for you! It complements this blog, and covers a wide range of mental health and emotional health issues, giving useful tips on what to say in tricky circumstances and how to execute routine actions in a confident, winning way.

SUBSCRIBE FREE TODAY on Substack for regular posts and podcasts on improving your self-assurance and feeling more worthy and competent in your activities.

The Fitness Booster: Understanding Happiness- See NEW Motivational Tips!

Do you tend to feel shy, afraid, and anxious? Sometimes life can feel overwhelming, especially when you have disappointments, or things are not going as expected.

• Do you dislike your reflection when you look in the mirror?

• Always finding fault with yourself, with what you say, and your actions?

• Is there something you would love to do but feel afraid of doing it, because you fear failure and messing it up, which is more overwhelming than the possible gains?

TAKE A LOOK AT THIS WEEK’S TOPICS

If you don’t feel confident about yourself, achieving your dreams or having great relationships, and could do with a boost in your self-esteem, The Fitness Booster Newsletter is just for you! It complements this blog, and covers a wide range of mental health and emotional health issues, giving useful tips on what to say in tricky circumstances and how to execute routine actions in a confident, winning way.

SUBSCRIBE FREE TODAY on Substack for regular posts and podcasts on improving your self-assurance and feeling more worthy and competent in your activities.

The Fitness Booster: What Causes Unhappiness? See NEW Motivational Tips!

Do you tend to feel shy, afraid, and anxious? Sometimes life can feel overwhelming, especially when you have disappointments, or things are not going as expected.

• Do you dislike your reflection when you look in the mirror?

• Always finding fault with yourself, with what you say, and your actions?

• Is there something you would love to do but feel afraid of doing it, because you fear failure and messing it up, which is more overwhelming than the possible gains?

TAKE A LOOK AT THIS WEEK’S TOPICS

If you don’t feel confident about yourself, achieving your dreams or having great relationships, and could do with a boost in your self-esteem, The Fitness Booster Newsletter is just for you! It complements this blog, and covers a wide range of mental health and emotional health issues, giving useful tips on what to say in tricky circumstances and how to execute routine actions in a confident, winning way.

SUBSCRIBE FREE TODAY on Substack for regular posts and podcasts on improving your self-assurance and feeling more worthy and competent in your activities.

Do People Really Change?

Photo by SOULSANA

The boxer, Mohammed Ali, once said: “A person who behaves at 50 years old, exactly as he did at 20, would have lost 30 years of his life!” He was trying to illustrate that we have to change to progress our lives, both physically and mentally. But how we deal with change is probably what your question refers to: whether we tend to accept it naturally, or resist it. Hence there are basically two kinds of change: the voluntary change that operates internally, and controls our choices, and the involuntary one that is external to us, affecting our action and lifestyle eventually, regardless of our resistance to it.

Voluntary changes tend to be subtle, and are often accepted because they reflect the choices we make. They are seldom dramatic, because we value security in life, being predictable in our actions, and feeling safe in our choices. Where we have the power to change, it will be gradual according to the benefits we perceive we will get from it, and the extent to which we believe our lives will alter because of it. We tend to feel more in charge of such changes which we can control to suit ourselves.

Involuntary changes are quite different. They are the ones that happen whether we like it or not, like the development of technology etc. If we do not feel comfortable with such changes we will resist them as much as possible, but as those changes tend to be inevitable, we have to accept them in the end, even if we only accept certain aspects of them. In the meantime we will find fault with the change, noticing only the perceived negatives to justify our resistance to it, until it’s success elsewhere through social acceptance makes us look foolish and we gradually acquiesce.

We are all capable of change, if we really want it. But it won’t come without great effort because change is the thing we fear most. We genuinely believe we lose the old us, like favourite suits we have grown accustomed to, or lose the old ways of doing things, which make us feel comfortable. But, fear of losing our old selves is groundless. Only thoughts and actions change, not people (personalities tend to be permanent), and each of us has power over what we think and do. We do change, yes, but only in small, imperceptible shifts which then amount to a whole new experience when viewed over a longer period of time – rather like still frames on a film which become animated when they are run together.

Altogether, we naturally change over time, but as we get older, we tend to become more conservative, afraid of any change that we think might make us feel insecure and anxious, which then makes us appear rigid and set in our ways. However, the bottom line is that we will always change, no matter the innovation, the personal readiness depending mainly on the perceived cost or benefit involved.

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The Fitness Booster: Do You Tend to Make Poor Choices? See NEW Motivational Tips!

Do you tend to feel shy, afraid, and anxious? Sometimes life can feel overwhelming, especially when you have disappointments, or things are not going as expected.

• Do you dislike your reflection when you look in the mirror?

• Always finding fault with yourself, with what you say, and your actions?

• Is there something you would love to do but feel afraid of doing it, because you fear failure and messing it up, which is more overwhelming than the possible gains?

TAKE A LOOK AT THIS WEEK’S TOPICS

If you don’t feel confident about yourself, achieving your dreams or having great relationships, and could do with a boost in your self-esteem, The Fitness Booster Newsletter is just for you! It complements this blog, and covers a wide range of mental health and emotional health issues, giving useful tips on what to say in tricky circumstances and how to execute routine actions in a confident, winning way.

SUBSCRIBE FREE TODAY on Substack for regular posts and podcasts on improving your self-assurance and feeling more worthy and competent in your activities.

The Fitness Booster: See NEW Motivational Tips!

Do you tend to feel shy, afraid, and anxious? Sometimes life can feel overwhelming, especially when you have disappointments, or things are not going as expected.

• Do you dislike your reflection when you look in the mirror?

• Always finding fault with yourself, with what you say, and your actions?

• Is there something you would love to do but feel afraid of doing it, because you fear failure and messing it up, which is more overwhelming than the possible gains?

TAKE A LOOK AT THIS WEEK’S TOPICS

If you don’t feel confident about yourself, achieving your dreams or having great relationships, and could do with a boost in your self-esteem, The Fitness Booster Newsletter is just for you! It complements this blog, and covers a wide range of mental health and emotional health issues, giving useful tips on what to say in tricky circumstances and how to execute routine actions in a confident, winning way.

SUBSCRIBE FREE TODAY on Substack for regular posts and podcasts on improving your self-assurance and feeling more worthy and competent in your activities.

The Fitness Booster: See This Week’s Motivational Tips!

Do you tend to feel shy, afraid, and anxious? Sometimes life can feel overwhelming, especially when you have disappointments, or things are not going as expected.

• Do you dislike your reflection when you look in the mirror?

• Always finding fault with yourself, with what you say, and your actions?

• Is there something you would love to do but feel afraid of doing it, because you fear failure and messing it up, which is more overwhelming than the possible gains?

TAKE A LOOK AT THIS WEEK’S TOPICS

If you don’t feel confident about yourself, achieving your dreams or having great relationships, and could do with a boost in your self-esteem, The Fitness Booster Newsletter is just for you! It complements this blog, and covers a wide range of mental health and emotional health issues, giving useful tips on what to say in tricky circumstances and how to execute routine actions in a confident, winning way.

SUBSCRIBE FREE TODAY on Substack for regular posts and podcasts on improving your self-assurance and feeling more worthy and competent in your activities.

LISTEN FREE! Why Real Friendship and Dating Do Not Go Together

How often have you ended dating with someone and then promised each other to be ‘friends’ afterwards? Is that a good foundation for real friendship, or just to sugar-coat any rejection? Is real friendship possible after any intimacy? This podcast explains why that is a futile hope.

RELATED BOOK7 Steps to Finding, and Keeping, ‘The One’

IF YOU FOUND THIS EPISODE USEFUL….SUBSCRIBE to Lessons in Life podcast on Anchor for more topics that could be of value to your situation or dilemma.

Follow Elaine on Twitter @ESiheraESC for new podcast alerts.

intimacy, elainesihera, wellbeingcafe, rejection, emotions, attraction,

Today’s Thought: Finding The Greatest Love!

It is easy to believe that once someone else loves us, we will be very happy ever after. But the greatest love is actually within us, often stifled and repressed by pain, hurt, self-loathing, dissatisfaction with our bodies, and relentless anxiety. Start the process of self discovery today, to find your greatest love – the one that guarantees real happiness.

If you found this post useful, do give something back. Your donation is most appreciated and will make a HUGE difference to maintaining this website for the benefit of others, too. Thank You!

Premium: How Do I Love Myself When I Feel So Bad?

Photo by Kelly Sikkema

Many people see my constant, happy smile and make instant assumptions about me and my past. However, my childhood was a pretty grim one. In the bad old days, as I call them, I would pass a mirror, momentarily liked what I saw but then suddenly, and inexplicably, would start telling myself that I was ‘crap’, that I ‘hated’ myself and I was ‘pathetic’. 

I had buried my traumas deep inside me, refusing to face them and, slowly, they took their toll in continuous self-loathing and low self-esteem. Gradually, and painfully, I learned that I had to sort out my past, face it and move on, and then begin the slow process of self-love. The wonderful result is clear to see now. Subscribe to get access

Read more of this content when you subscribe today.

Today’s Thought: Being Generous With Love

We seem to find it much easier to be cold, detached, unkind and even cruel to others than it is to be kind and loving to them. We even get embarrassed when people show us love, or pay us a compliment as though that is not something positive and enjoyable. Often we spend a long time in regret wishing we had said something loving to someone we cherished.

Yet love has the power to do so many things for us, especially to make us feel joyful, valued and life more meaningful. In fact, we can achieve far more in one day with just a little kindness and appreciation than we can in a long time with any other means.

Make someone’s day by sending some love their way!

If you found this post useful, do give something back. Your donation is most appreciated and will make a HUGE difference to maintaining this website for the benefit of others, too. Thank You!